The Trains in Spain Fly Mainly in the Rain, Or Something Like That
I’ve been getting things prepped for my trip to Spain for a the past few weeks, and while doing some reading on Rick Steves’s site, I began to let my mind wander over past travels. I spent most of the first part of 2007 traveling around with a rag tag band of miscreants on a seemingly endless quest to find a decent place to eat after shows.
From the depressing and devoid of life streets in Branson, MO, to the cool beauty of Flagstaff, AZ, I was able (forced, actually) to interact with a lot of people on a throwaway basis. I was stuck in the back of loading docks and auditoriums having to hold my tongue as the myriad of comments and jabs build up inside of me.
I loathe inefficiency, and I spent a lot of time dealing with it. It came to a head in Orlando. Seven people in the whole airport, and a que line 6 layers deep with only 1 person in it. I couldn’t deal with it. So, I made the process more efficient. I edited the que.
And pissed off one very organized ticket agent. I was unaware of the amount of power these persons had over my life.
We stared at one another for a long second. Me behind the Wait Here line. He behind his desk. As the moment ticked by, I began to think, maybe something was amiss. I smiled.
He just glared.
Finally, he gave a tight-lipped ‘next’ signal for me to approach the counter. The ticketing and baggage process went quickly, and as he started to hand me my ticket, he froze. And smiled. The ticket withdrew a moment, and smug satisfaction crossed his face.
k-chink k-chink k-chink
Three bright red SCREENING REQUIRED stamps were emblazoned on my boarding pass. The sound of a snapping latex glove and booming voice ordering me to spread ‘em. filled my ears. Approaching the security check in, I was only moments away from a violating, de-humanizing experience with TSA Bob.
I took two important pieces of information away from this small airport north of Orlando. !) Ticket agents can be sadistic bastards when you mess with the que. 2) While awkward at first, cavity searches are a great way to meet new people. Sure you feel dirty and used when it’s over, but so does the other guy, and you don’t have to reciprocate.
